Aquel

"Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?" - Stephen Colbert

Without labels, Homo sapiens wouldn't be able to function on a daily basis. We wouldn't be able to lump things together, put things in "pretty little boxes," or choose what to focus our attention on. Without labels and filters and other methods for categorizing, we would all be autistic (a disorder that is in part characterized by the inability to distinguish the important and the superfluous) or perhaps we would all be best-selling authors like Malcolm Gladwell (who says that to be a writer is a daily battle to "convince yourself that everyone and everything has a story to tell"). 

This classifying has spread to even the most private parts of our lives. I can tell you that every long-running television series has an episode where a character (or characters) is pressured into defining the sexual relationship they are currently in. Recently, this plotline has morphed into the concept of "Facebook official" which essentially suggests that no one is off the proverbial market until their online relationship status is no longer set to single. 

And while this labeling may be all well and good, I refuse to paint myself into a corner when it comes to my religious beliefs. I still haven't found a word that comes close to describing my core philosophy (but maybe I should trying searching in German, language of the all-encompassing, 30-letter words). I shudder to think of assigning myself to any religious tradition -- mainstream or obscure. While I see all religions in as complex and colorful terms as any other open-minded first- amendment advocate, I can't suppress the less-than-positive thoughts that spring into my head when people say they are Christian (homophobic? self-righteous?), Buddhist (oh, right, like you actually give up everything), Scientologist (really?). 


And on an even deeper level, I just don't know if I am certain. The religious seem so certain. I feel like I'm bopping along, doing my best, trying to reach my goals without hurting anyone along the way. I don't think that I can say with 100% certainty that our Father art in heaven or that His kingdom will come, or that Allah hands out at virgins at heaven's gate, or that there are many gods, or just one God. But this means that, by my own logic, I cannot say that there are no gods. I suppose, having eliminated all other words, I am left with two labels to choose from: agnostic and aquel.

Agnostic is a common term for a religious philosophy of "I just don't know." Aquel is a Spanish word meaning "the object farthest away from where I currently am." It was used as word for God by the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges in his famous story "The Two Kings and the Two Labyrinths." While aquel could be seen by some as a romanticized word for "I don't know," I see it as both an admission of ignorance and the embrace of it. 

In the end, what I will try to do is live by the Golden Rule, work to transcend, work to change the things that I can, remind myself that all human beings are divine, and be loyal to who I am. And the rest can go to aquel.